As you well know, the universe is sort of my homeboy, and I'm part of the eternal dance of life and all that. The moon shines for me and Deepak helps me with some small rage issues. He gives me the sutras, like "ohm sum" and then I convert them, because I cannot help myself, to awwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeee... some......................
If I understand his words right, while you're saying it, you think "I am the universe and all the unicorns whinny for me."

I've come up with some additions to Deepak's work, because, for one thing, I'm pretty sure I have something to add to the conversation, and for the other, I have an index card next to my computer that I must have written myself after taking heavy doses of whiskey, which reads, "Think up shit Deepak might say after he's been taking heavy narcotics." Alright, yes I will drunk self.

AWE. SUMMMMMMMM. (say it like a Statler)
"I am the universe and the universe is me, and every time a kid in some junior high is inspired to write nice or fancy things in puffy letters, or draw rainbows and clouds, that is a direct reflection of my self at work."
AWE. SUMMMMMMMMMM.
"I know that love can't be just in here, and I know because there's no way it would fit, this love I feel. No way. It would be like shoving 13,000 full-sized fully inflated rafts in a 1976 Honda Civic. I don't care what kind of magic those Shriners do, it just can't be done... and it leads me to a conclusion, that we must all be connected, like how everyone really likes paint by numbers paintings, but few people are brave enough to admit it."
AWE. SUMMMMMMMMM.
"I like putting nicotine patches on my ass when I sleep instead of paying to go to scary movies. I mean, it's like a fucking free scary movie marathon. How does that relate to other stuff, well, that's what makes me made of magic and pure power and love. Next stop, grace. Choo choo, mother fucker."
AWE. SUMMMMMMMMM.

Hey, thanks to cross-stitch ninja on flickr, for making the above inspired needlework, which translates, "put a flame under your rage, sister."

It has made me think of a craft of my own, the Blagojevich death pillow. It could just be a huge picture of his face, and you could smack it all around, yelling things like, "How dare you steal from a children's hospital? How could you?" I seriously need to market these ideas. Genius.